7 “Stupid-Dark” things to watch on Netflix.

In light of the pending pandemic, Hallmark just announced they were going to release and marathon some of their Christmas movies to lighten the mood. That’s adorable. That’s the last freaking thing I think I can handle right now.

To posit an alternative, let me introduce you to one of my favorite things. I’m a big fan of a very special genre I like to call “stupid-dark.” (I’m also guilty of being a fan of faux-documentary horror movies, so do with that what you will). Movies that show the less cute side of humans and/or have 5th grade creative writing level plots. There’s lots of good dark movies and shows, but the majesty of reaching a stupid-dark is unparalleled. Unexpected, bizarre, outlandish, and most importantly, distracting. That’s the stupid-dark way.

This is what I need in these trying times. I can barely handle cute Christmas Hallmark movies during the holiday season, and there’s a possibility that you’re the same way. Come join me on an adventure into Stupid-Dark. Best part, these are all on Netflix right now! Yippie!

1. Tiger King (2020)

This is brand new on Netflix and I binged it in a day (yesterday was not productive to say the least, but I, along with Joe Exotic and a plethora of weirdos of big cat breeding did very good on scrabble go while watching this so that’s something). This leans more towards Dark/Weird than truly Stupid-Dark – because it’s not stupid, it’s an incredible documentary – but there’s some things that happen that make you go “Oh god, that was stupid,” so I’m including it here. This deep dive into the lives of the big cat breeders and traders into the United States, including a Libertarian presidential campaign, accidental suicide, a man leading a harem of women tiger keepers, a potential murder plot and of course a butt ton of baby tigers and lions, is so bizarre and gripping.

Gremlin Watches: To All The Boys: PS. I Still Love You

Lana Condor, Noah Centineo and Jordan Fisher

Sometimes you just need to up the cute.

Thank god for this movie. I loved the first one, and I love this one too. I’m far removed from high school, and cannot even relate to a massive public school, (Catholic all-girls school here), but this brings me back to all those good fuzzy feelings without any of the ‘oh god I hate this place’ feelings that I got from my actual high school.

Hate you 3000

God, I was looking for a podcast and ended up on one that was recapping the oscars (Ringer’s ‘The Big Picture’), and then one of them said that Endgame was a good movie, and I just had to turn it off.

Am I wrong? I don’t really understand how someone can call Endgame a good movie. It was up for best SFX, but even those were just flash. It had an infinite budget, but there was nothing original or interesting about their effects at all.

And the story sucked; it was completely out of character for each protagonist, it was filled with weird callbacks for the audience that didn’t hit nearly as well as they could’ve if they were well written, and the entire time travel thing was poorly executed at best.

I used to be a real MCU fan, but I literally just dropped it after Endgame. That’s the sign of a bad movie if nothing else. I’m still mad about it because I was invested in those characters and those stories and the payout was just trash. I’m still a big Captain America fan, but really only the fandom version of him now; his ending was completely ruined.

God even the costuming and hair/makeup wasn’t good or in-character. I just can’t.

Gremlin Watches: ‘9-1-1: Lone Star’

9-1-1: Lone Star with Rob Lowe and Liv Tyler

This show sucks. This show sucks so bad; don’t watch it.

That’s it, that’s the review.

Okay, no it’s not it, but that’s really all there is to it. Going over the writing, characters/characterization, and acting (and literally every other metric you can conceive) we’ll delve deep into the suckiness of this show.

Gremlin Watches: Shrill Season Two

(A tiny review.)

Hulu’s Shrill, featuring Aidy Bryant

I just finished the second season of the knockout hit, Shrill, and boy howdy am I happy about it. The first season was kind of life changing for me, and for a lot of the fat community; Lindy West’s creation and Aidy Bryant’s brilliant performance was the first time I’ve ever seen someone like myself on screen.