I’m struggling a lot with what I want to write for my Nicholl Fellowship screenplay. I don’t feel confident enough in my old stuff to work from those, but I literally am having no ideas as to what to write for something new.

The early submission date is in 32 days. (I can wait longer and do regular or late submission, but it costs more).

As of right now, my brain is bouncing three subpar ideas around in my head;

• A gay bull rider on the rodeo circuit trapped in the closet.
• A young woman with control issues has to go to europe to collect her dead twin’s body after he commits suicide.
• A school shooting.

That’s it. I don’t hate any of them, but they’re not giving me the passion I once had with writing, ya know? But maybe I just don’t have that passion anymore because I’m older and wiser and jaded. And I’m feeling a little gun-shy because the response I got back from my AFF coverage, while good, said it wasn’t the most original story. So now I’m wracking my brains trying to come up with something original.

Either way, writing is still hard. To win the Nicholl Fellowship would be a huge deal, and the fact is the story idea itself needs to be original, plus the dialogue and writing needs to be perfect. Even then it’s a long shot. I don’t anticipate this is going to be my year, but I want to submit nonetheless — this is my career, this is what I’d have to do to get noticed in my field.

Back to the drawing board.